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Testing a new home page idea - customer centric copy


#1

I have been reading a lot in the last white about making compelling landing pages (especially CopyHackers). One thing that jumped out at me was the idea of using your customers to write your copy. I had a lot of great quotes and feedback from customers so I decided to give it a try for a period of time and compare it against my previous home page results to see how it converts.

I would love to get anyone’s feedback on what they think about going with the customer centric idea.

You can checkout the new page here, https://pageproofer.com/

It still feels a little copy heavy compared to the old version (which was mostly about features and images) but I’ll wait for the target audience to decide.


#2

Wow… nice work…

Since you asked… I will not hold anything back… take this with a grain of salt…

Video is fantastic… the audio is amateurish. For very little money, you can get a professional voice… cheap too…

Great first look… love it. Then as you scroll I find there is too much text… I would remove fillers and keep the punchy customer reviews… because if you read the review, it says everything… text like this become redundant and clutter up the page.

We asked leading web designers and developers how they managed feedback and tracked issues while building websites. This is what they had to say.

That seems to be redundant too… we get it, email hell…

How does your team manage feedback and track issues while building websites? The majority of web teams still rely on spreadsheets, documents and email.

Does your team use documents and spreadsheets to track issues and change requests?
Do you get emails from your client when they want a change on their website?
Are your developers wasting valuable time figuring out which browser a bug happened in?
Do you have a process to easily collect design feedback from your clients?
Is your team tired of using a complicated bug tracking system?

I would reduce the text… part after that as well… too wordy I think, the benefits are speaking volumes…

I love it… just to verbose…

Hope this helps


#3

Thanks @Serge. 100% agree about the audio, hearing my own voice is torture (but I’m my own worst critic).

I’m going to work more on the copy. It took quite a bit of effort to get it that far. Making copy short is tough work.


#4

It’s not that bad… it just does not fit with the rest… the video looks like 1,000,000$ … so the audio does not fit…lol

What struck me was the repetition of ideas in the copy… maybe you should read it with that in mind…

I guess you audience is developers… we tend to get it pretty quickly… and your page makes the benefit obvious… (which is rather rare…)

This stuff take so much time…


#5

Nice work! It’s persuasive, and the fact that you used your customer’s own words makes it personable and authentic as well.


#6

I used https://www.voices.com in the past, high quality voice over with low costs. Otherwise i really like the page.


#7

I’ve used this for voiceover with success: https://voicebunny.com/


#8

I like it. Remind me a lot of Basecamp’s site. Although I do agree with @Serge, it is a little text-heavy.


#9

@Hannah_Wright thank you. Authentic is what I was going for. All the other competitors in this space are feature feature feature, I wanted to do something different to stand out and even show how much I value my customers by putting their words front and center.

Thanks @danielherken and @SteveMcLeod for the voice over suggestion. I will check both of those out. I’m checking Fiverr also, that came up in some recommendations on past posts here.


#10

@serge @danielherken @SteveMcLeod thanks for the recommendations on a voice over. Went with Fiverr, best $20 I ever spent.


#11

Great investment… lol 20$ … darn…

I like the way you go right to the meat… still wordy but much improved flow… I like it. I can hardly wait to see how it does… I would be curious to A B test one with even less text…

Good job… Labor of love …


#12

Labor of love indeed. Finally at a point where it’s not a little embarrassing to show.


#13

Nothing embarrassing there… it looks like a million bucks…


#14

That’s really good. It is amazing how cheap this stuff can be…

Would you by chance have a link to the video with the original voiceover? I’d like to compare the before and after.


#15

Original Version

New Version

Trimmed out the entire lead in and tightened up some timing to cut almost a minute out.


#16

Thanks, the first versions of the site were but that’s when you know you’re launching the right MVP.


#17

At first I didn’t think the original version was too bad, but now I can compare them, I can see just how much better it is.

Not only is the audio cleaner and clearer, getting rid of the intro and music makes the whole effect tighter. I guess people don’t care who you are or why you did it - they just want to know if this is a product for them.


#18

Yeah. Now I understand why editors are ruthless. You just need to get to the point. Lesson learned when it comes to trying to do it all myself. Sometimes a pro is needed. Hoping to see positive results from all this hard work. I have more than doubled my site traffic in the past three months now it’s time to get the conversions up.


#19

Wow, that’s great! Care to reveal how much of that is organic?


#20

Organic is up approx 2x, about 25% of total traffic. I keyed in on some critical terms and got onto page 1 in google results. The biggest help has been social, trying to post even old stuff on a regular basis, direct replies to people looking for answers. Social and direct have been the primary gains.